Why I love being a senior

I can go out to see a movie on a school night.

I don't know about you, but up until this point that has been off-limits for me. And being able to do this, to have this freedom, feels AWESOME.

What do I do with this newfound freedom?

I watch Kung Fu Panda 2.

You know I prioritize.

Needles and thread and trips to the ER

I suck at this whole "domesticity" thing.

This is where I politely ask any of my readers with sexist tendencies to please navigate away from this page. You're more than welcome to stay if you like, but no sexist commentary is necessary in the next few minutes. Please, and thank you.

As I was saying.

Today, I decided that I would embark on an adventure, the artsy kind involving a needle and thread. This adventure involved making a bag/purse out of a t-shirt. Now, I'm not the most creative/artsy person. I like straight lines. And rulers. And using rulers to make straight lines. (My AP Econ teacher is currently attempting to murder my OCD by refusing me a ruler during tests when we have to draw graphs. *shudders*) So making this bag was going to be, at the very least, a therapeutic exercise on the road to OCD recovery. I had high hopes that I could at least accomplish that, even if it meant sacrificing some poor t-shirt in my quest to achieve sanity. The first part of the bag was no-sew, which I liked. And it actually turned out really cool! The bag has hard-core fringe, and I'm loving the indie vibe I get off it.

But you know what every good thing under the sun needs?

POCKETS.

My friends from the cruise can attest to how legitimately excited I got when I realized my romper had pockets. To the point of frolicking. (Noun form: frolickation? Frolickment? Frolickitude? Now that last one just looks dirty.) I love pockets. I love clothing with pockets. POCKETS ARE MAGICAL CLOTH PLACES FOR HOLDING STUFFS. Do not question their power. Embrace it.

So, like every normal person, I set about sewing a pocket (that I cleverly made out of a piece of the shirt sleeve from the remnants of the t-shirt) onto the front of my bag.

Now, a few years ago I went to a Bible camp where I was taught how to embroider. Don't question this - it is a significant bone of contention with me and was pretty much where I decided once and for all that feminism is pretty rad.  But, as much as I resented it, I wasn't half bad at embroidery. I actually have a pretty nice sunflower pillowcase somewhere in the bowels of my room, pics if you're interested. So when I went to sew on the Magical Pocket of Awesome, I decided to use a basic embroidery stitch since a) it's what I'm best at and b) it would look nice even if I managed to screw it up.

I was very, very wrong on both counts.

Apparently one's embroidery skills can wane after, err, six years. Suffice it to say, I am very glad that the thread I used blends in with the t-shirt fabric. Otherwise this would be just embarassing. Yes, the pocket is there, attached to the bag. Yes, the pocket has three sides that close and a button at the top. Does the button attach to anything? Absolutely not. Does the pocket fabric lie flat? Your'e funny. Is the pocket straight? You have to be kidding.

Domesticiy is really not my strong suit. Yeah, I can cook (somewhat) and clean (though my mother would beg to differ) and basically manage to not fail at life.  But hand me a needle and thread and you had best hope that the fabric I'm sewing is red because there is going to be quite a fair amount of blood spilled. Mostly mine.

OkayI'mreallynotthatbadatsewingbutwhateverthisistheinternetandIamgoingtocomplaingoshdangit. If anyone has any ideas of where I can get cool, vintage-y t-shirts to make a new bag, that would be awesome. Comments go below. You know the drill.



(Author's Note: In the middle of typing this, my cursor (which displays everything beneath it in negative) rolled over some text, and from the corner of my eye the resulting visual looked somewhat like a spider. I may have screamed. Does anyone know a good therapist?)

Today, I was outsmarted by my phone.

Yes, I am surprised I have lasted this long. Dexter (my Atrix) is a beast. He dominates at life. He wins at winning. He out Chuck Norris-es Chuck Norris.

I have been putting off updating my software for a month now. Why? I'm lazy. This is nothing new, but it was a lot easier for me to just tap the "later" or "cancel" buttons rather than admitting that I might actually have to learn how to use my phone again. I knew I would do the update eventually, but that was always Future Kaitlyn's problem, and I wanted to let her deal with it some other time.

Then, my phone tricked me.

At 5 in the morning I randomly woke up. Having watched another third of The Two Towers previously that day, I started thinking about orcs. Sleep naturally decided to evade me for a good half hour. Recognizing this, I untangled myself from my headphone cords and reached for my phone, just in case I happened to have been texted sometime in the previous seven hours.

Now, my phone wanted the update. Like really wanted the update. To the point of asking me every three hours if I wanted to download the update. The requests became almost pitiful, actually. Normally, I would just put off the update or hit cancel, but apparently my repeated defiance had over time caused Dexter to harbor resentment towards me, and that resentment slowly built up into rage. Pure, unadulterated rage.

Dexter was going to get that update, whether I liked it or not. He was a phone on a mission, and neither man nor God was going to stop him.

So, in my moment of exhuastion-induced weakness, Dexter blinded me with its bright screen right as I moved to tap the "cancel" button. My hand slipped, and Dexter emerged triumphant.

He's a tricky little devil, that Dexter.





All right, so now that I've hopefully amused you with that tale of my failure, a few orders of business.

First, if you will, take a minute to scroll to the top of the page. You will notice that there is a new tab there entitled "The Awesome Tab." If you bother to click on it, the Awesome Tab will explain itself. Feel free to click and read - you might learn something. I'll try to keep the Awesome Tab updated as often as necessary, but I wouldn't recommend checking it daily. While I blog daily, I can't find a worthy charity every day for months at a time. I am only human after all.

That brings me to number two. I am hopefully going to be making some formatting changes to my blog over the next few weeks. So, if I'm a little late on posting (or if my posts consist of tiny, pathetic little attempts at humour), don't hate me. Bear with it, if you will. Things should be back to normal in a little while.

Three, I need someone to watch Disney movies with me. Sadface.

Fourth, Sam Martinez and Honah Rosas, I wrote a long-form post. Be happy.
 
Five, Brittni is way too in love with elephants. I miss you, Girls State.

Something depressing

My phone tried to autocorrect "moat" to "most" today. Obviously my texts do not include nearly enough medieval references as they should. I am disappoint.

Yeah, I know this is a pathetic excuse for a blog post. I'm watching the LotR sequel tonight. With any luck I will post my response to that by tomorrow night. Or maybe I'll do my AP Lit essay. (Mama Lutjens, please love me again.)

Happy weekend, kiddos.

Just Desserts

Tonight my mom and I went to Savemart to pick up "a little something for dessert."

We bought a whole cake.

Words cannot describe.

I can't get over how witty that title is. Jajajaja. I crack myself up.