October 31, 2011
October 30, 2011
October 29, 2011
Obviously I'm not going to college. Today I can honestly say I did not do an ounce of college work. Which was horribly depressing and utterly lovely. There were a lot of things I should have done today, but instead I watched "Footloose" (for the first time, and the entire time I was watching it I kept calling the reverend Don Quixote) and ate ice cream and did other such highly unproductive things. It was great.
I also watched "Battle: LA" and remembered why exactly I don't like alien apocalypse movies. First, this was basically "Independence Day" plus a couple years minus cigars and Jeff Goldblum hilarity. Also, I get awfully frustrated at how Hollywood DOES NOT UNDERSTAND SCIENCE.
1) If we were to be invaded by aliens, they would look nothing like us. They would not have similar anatomy. They would not speak a language we understand. They would not be anthropomorphic humanoids with electrical exoskeletons. GET OVER IT.
2) If aliens found us first, we would be screwed. The end. They would be lightyears ahead of us in technology and weaponry. This is when we give up and try to make friends.
3) NOT EVERY SPECIES IN THE UNIVERSE WANTS OUR WATER.
I might read too many Cracked articles. Just maybe.
Tonight's road trip with my city sisters was a complete success. We experienced a wholly new part of this great state, and minus the creepy fro-yo guys and the highly awkward intersections with two independent sets of stoplights going in one direction, it was completely and utterly fantastic. Maybe there will be more details tomorrow night (but don't hold me to that.) I need some sleep lovelies!
October 27, 2011
1) 20 hours of straight, uninterrupted sleep
2) Not having a math test tomorrow
3) Not having to frantically do applications this weekend
4) Reeses peanut butter cups...and a lot of them
5) The Titanic soundtrack
I don't ask for too much, do I?
October 26, 2011
No? You're not proud of me? Not even a little bit?
It's a hard-knock life.
Today was an uber big day, and now I'm crazy tired. I know, this isn't news to anyone. Cut me some slack.
Tangent: (Tangent plane to a surface at point (x0,y0,z0) with gradient vector <a,b,c> is 0=a(x-x0)+b(y+y0)+c(z+z0), in case you were wondering - look guys, I'm learning something in calc too! Maybe I actually won't fail the test this Friday!) So at this point my tumblr dash is pretty much just a constant stream of HIMYM jokes, Disney gifs, Winnie the Pooh quotes, and assorted memery. It's six different kinds of fantastic. I need a dole whip, stat.
October 25, 2011
I'm drowning in three-dimmensional calculus. (I can graph that)
I'm drowning in a lit essay. (I can analyze that)
I'm drowning in physics homework. (I can integrate that)
I -- it's going to be a long night. Yes, I deserve your pity. PITY THE FOOL.
October 24, 2011
"Oh, your name's Keke...short for Kee...kekekekekekekekeke............."
October 23, 2011
First, I added a new tab ^ and moved the musical stylings tab ----->
If you like these changes, hit me up, and if you have any suggestions for new fixes, the comment bar is below.
Second, I just want to clarify about my previous post. I am giving my mom a hard time - I probably could dress a little more femininely, but I choose not to. But the times that she actually does complain are rare - she is more likely to give me a hard time when I do wear pink or dresses or what have you than she is when I'm not. And when I posted earlier she told me that she thinks I'm pretty even when I'm dressed like a slob. D'awwww :)
Third, IT'S NO LONGER THE WEEKEND, YO. COLLEGE APPS BE DUE SOON, DAWG. I BE GOIN' CRAY-CRAY UP IN HERE.
Apparently, I don't dress like a girl or put nearly enough effort into my appearance to satisfy her expectations. I'm not going to lie - being a girl is a pain. Make-up, heels, the whole deal - it is a LOT of work to go through, and when I am getting like five hours of sleep and have twenty minutes to get dressed in the morning, effort falls to the wayside a little bit. That being said, I do try most days. Just not to my mother's standards. Here is an example of our differing ideas of classy make-up:
My idea of heavy make-up:
Her idea of heavy make-up:
Okay, it's really not that bad, but still. Our ideas of how I should dress differ quite strongly. While I am happy in sweatpants, a v-neck, and Toms with (let's be totally honest) zero to no make-up, she wants dresses and skirts and eyeliner and blush and pink and stuff that really kind of feels like six different shades of effort.
So when my Econ teacher came up to my mother to tell her about how she met my sister ("And I thought it was Kait, but I realized I have never seen her with that much make-up on!"), the dispute was reborn. Only this time she had the Social Science department on her side.
They are ganging up on me.
So tonight I had a church function that required me to put on "real-people clothes." I begrudgingly emerged from my room in one of my less bothersome outfits.
High-waisted skirt, cardigan, ballet flats, the works. I even threw on some eyeliner and mascara for kicks. My mother cheered for the skirt, then begged me to put on lipstick and blush because it still wasn't enough.
The minute we got home, I got my revenge.
Sweatpants, sweater, t-shirt, vans. Feel free to comment on my Princeton t-shirt and UCLA sweatpants. All I needed was my Cal sweatshirt and I would have been totally ready to go. My mother's enthusiasm was palpable.
October 22, 2011
October 21, 2011
October 20, 2011
Solitaire is completely addicting.
I lack the motivation to do a legitimate post tonight. Exhausted merg.
I think I'm going to give up on Thursday and read the Wind in the Willows until it's Friday again. Tomorrow should be a good day.
October 19, 2011
Merg is a noise. Say it out loud. "Merg." Say it louder. "MERG." With feeling! "MERG!!!!!!!!!!"
There we go.
Merg is the noise I make when I'm frustrated. Or irritated. Or tired. Or angry. Or meh. Or whatever. The beauty of merg is that it is completely elastic, and can be made to fit many a context. It's highly comparable to the much more well-known "asdf" or general keysmash "sddvisrnuaehyuifassejknsjkasnuweruianusahneyubrenui." (Actual keysmash may vary).
Because this definition of merg leaves something to be desired, I drew a picture.
I would like to introduce the two of you. This is Merg. I'm not an artist, I know. But this drawing should give you a better idea of what exactly Merg is. I like Merg. He and I spend a lot of time together. Because I was feeling artsy (and I just found out that Raptor + my not-old printer = scanning that takes all of two seconds), I drew some of Merg's friends too.
This is Angry Merg.
This is Happy Merg. Note the butterfly, rainbow, and glitter. This is how you can identify Happy Merg.
This is Confused Merg. Imagine the confused Scooby-Doo face. There you go, you've got it now.
This is College Application Merg. Note the sword, extra-large incisors, and general thirst for College Board blood. I will probably draw more versions of Merg in the future, so don't think you've seen the end of Merg. Hide yo kids. Hide yo wife. And hide yo husbands too. Because Merg be findin' ERRBODY up in here.
October 18, 2011
October 17, 2011
1) I had work and
2) I got really hyper during closing. Now, most people would think that this would make me more proactive and likely to do blog-y sorts of things, but in reality it just made me really unproductive so that
3) when I came home from work I made soup seeing as
4) I was crazy hungry and
5) I needed my fix of crushed ice. And while I was eating my soup and crunching my ice
6) I checked tumblr, which took like an hour seeing as certain people have nothing better to do than reblog EVERY SINGLE THING ON THEIR DASHBOARD. Then
7) I fell into food coma and
8) I realized that I had no real desire to post a real ... well ... post.
9) And my shame at how redundant that was caused me to lose all faith in my ability to write something worth publishing to the vastness of the interwebs because
10) holy crap I'm tired.
October 16, 2011
11 AM: *Turns on laptop with a cheery grin* "All right, here I am, ready to face the day! I have a lot to do and a whole day to get it done. Homework time it is!
12 NOON: "Dude, I did like a whole math problem. Time to reward myself with lunch. Jolly good!"
1 PM: *after finishing lunch* "Homework is frustrating. And hard. I know, I will productively procrastinate for a half hour or so by working on college stuff. Maybe I will actually write those application essays I have been putting off for the last three weeks. Then I will feel better about myself and go back to finishing all of that homework and I will still be able to sleep at a decent hour."
2 PM: "Essays are hard. I don't like them. I will instead do all of the clicking and scrolling necessary to fill out all of the personal information for each application."
4 PM: "There isn't anything else to click or select... My choice is to do essays or homework..."
4:01 PM: *FACEBOOK FACEBOOK FACEBOOK FACEBOOK FACEBOOK*
October 15, 2011
October 14, 2011
Dear Xfinity TV online,
Thanks to you, I am currently watching Tangled on my laptop. I -- I think I love you.
First, my best friend is finally back from college for the weekend. And I am excited beyond belief. I have missed her like crazy.
Second, I think I might be addicted to eating ice. It's not healthy, I don't think.
Third, tonight I worked at an elementary school haunted house. I was picked to be a demented clown with another of my classmates, and when they said "clown makeup," they weren't kidding. We had the whole shebang - facepaint an inch thick all over. Pics on facebook.
Working the carnival was crazy fun. We only made a dozen or so kids cry (more like twenty, but who's counting?) over a four hour period. Other than the obnoxious boys who decided that it was hilarious to prove they were too cool to be scared by our creepy clownish antics (and the teenager who got "freaked out" and proceeded to barrel through the room, destroying a good number of our props in the process), the kids all seemed to have a great time with it. Knowing the names of a few of the kids was really helpful, too. (Sorry, Danielle and Cameron!) Also, our "gorilla" would chase the little kids saying "om nom nom." Twas great.
However, one kid stood out as my favorite by far. He and his friends were taking a long time and dawdling through the room, so it was my job to nudge them in the right direction toward the exit. I bumped the kid, who was about 9, by accident, and he responded by saying, "Hey, don't touch me -- I have life insurance!"
Favorite. Kid. Ever.
October 13, 2011
In other news, the Pixie Hollow Games are coming this fall. I might have to watch that.
So many college apps. So many essays. So much to do. So much insanity. I need chocolate.
October 12, 2011
That is easily the coolest piece of grammar knowledge I will ever know. Ever.
I was highly excited to learn that "crucio" was already accepted in my phone's dictionary.
I want sleep. And Taco Bell. Are TBell chalupas good? I just saw one advertised on TV, and having never eaten one I am hoping to elicit some sort of response from any of y'all. I eat an obscene amount of TBell, and it's nice to be able to expand my repertoire on occasion.
OH MY LORD I NEED TBELL NOW I WILL NEVER SLEEP
(Do you like how I used an interrobang in that meme? You see what I did there.)
October 11, 2011
Sometimes when I try to do homework (like, say, my econ objectives or lit prompts) I get distracted and open tumblr on my phone "just for two minutes" as a completely undeserved reward for "productivity."
Then, tumblr won't load and I decide that it's the Universe's way of telling me to do homework instead.
Then I can't find my pen before the page loads and I decide that it's the Universe's way of saying, " Lol, jk dawg, procrastinate away."
Then I am happy.
Then I decide to blog about it because, hey, the Universe already cleared me to kill time.
Then Blogger refuses to upload my post and I spend ten minutes fighting it and the Universe.
Then I give up and go back to my homework.
And the Universe's pro-academic agenda strikes again.
She is a tricky little devil, that Universe.
October 10, 2011
It needs to be Friday already. I miss Bree. BREE IF YOU ARE READING THIS I MISS YOU MORE AND I CALL DIBS ON BEING RIGHT AND WINNING SO THERE HAHAHA.
Watching "Stick It" makes me miss gymnastics. A little. Like a really-tiny-little-bit. But I still do miss it. I don't miss the stress in the least. I don't miss being yelled at for not being good enough or not trying enough. I don't miss leotards riding up my butt or breathing in chalk. I don't miss getting rips the size of quarters on my palms or sweating into open wounds. I don't miss conditioning or landing on my butt every time I tried a new skill. I don't miss straddling the beam or the fear that would follow every time I did. I don't miss watching everyone excel where I couldn't or feeling like a giant failure.
What I do miss: feeling strong. Feeling like, for a few hours, I didn't have to worry about school or homework. Feeling like I was in control for once.
Merg. This got depressing.
I just realized my iPod is downstairs. Or in my car. Or in some other, far-off place that I can't get to right now. Caratriste.
October 9, 2011
MEEP MEEP MEEP
I am really tired. College is stressing me out like no other. I am thoroughly ready for all of this to be done with. I'll just say this: you know you have picked a good place of employment when your training videos are Star Wars themed.
October 8, 2011
Tonight I experienced my first haunted house/hayride/forest deal. I managed to avoid peeing my pants during the entirety of the time I was there, which was impressive because I am the biggest baby in all of creation.
Some things I learned:
1) Avoid men named Seamus. They will follow you around all night and smell your hair, if given the chance.
2) Singing "Walking on Sunshine" instantly makes things less scary.
3) "Nacho cheese, salty Doritos, turn this boy into burrito" is a valid hex.
4) Boys will volunteer to be the brave ones to stand in the front and back of the group, but at the first sound of a chainsaw they will start running and their macho bravery goes out the window.
I has works in the morning. Night, guys!
October 7, 2011
October 6, 2011
October 5, 2011
Like, I REALLY don't like spiders.
I figured this out a few years ago. I mean, I always knew, but over the last few years it has become horrifyingly apparent that I really, really don't like spiders. People try to tell me "oh, the spiders won't hurt you, they are more afraid of you than you are of them." If that were true, the spiders wouldn't come anywhere near me because I would be THAT SCARY. Seeing as spiders still manage to find me on an almost daily basis, this argument is invalid.
I have perfectly good reason to fear spiders.
First of all, they are scary. LIKE REALLY SCARY.
Second, I have empirical evidence showing that they are the undead. I once killed a spider three times over the course of three days. The first day, I beat it with a wooden spoon and ran it down the sink. The next morning, it showed up again. I beat the little crap again and then ran it through the garbage disposal. The next afternoon, Zombie Spider made his third appearance. I knew it was the same one because half of its eight, disgusting legs were broken and mangled. Yet there it sat, the eight-legged demon, staring at me, daring me to do my worst. If I could speak spider (which would be a completely wasted skill on an arachnophobic, mind you), I'm pretty sure that it would have been saying "Come at me, bro." I spent five minutes beating it with a wooden spoon (the same one from Day 1), then turned the disposal on for another five. It didn't return.
Third, spiders are vengeful beasts. Case in point: the day that I killed Zombie Spider, his friend decided to pay me a visit. When I was sitting peacefully on the couch. How did he make his entrance? By descending inches in front of my face and, after I had screamed and fled, hiding in said couch, making couch-ing impossible for the following three days.
Fourth, they like to hide in my shower. Not cool.
Fifth, nothing normal has eight legs. NOTHING.
So when I say that I am afraid of spiders, believe me.
And I am fairly certain that there is a spider hiding in my garage right now. It has been there for the past few days. I'm pretty sure it lives in the wall that I have to walk by to get to my car every morning.
Here is a diagram of my garage:
Yellow areas represent areas of high spider density, and the dotted blue represents the path I must take to get to my car (the red blob) each morning. My half of the garage is a tight squeeze, to say the least. The way it works is this:
I run from the door to the house around the fridge and recycling bins to my car, being careful to avoid making eye contact with the spider infestation by my right front tire because if I can see them then they can see me and that is scary. I flatten myself against my car door and quickly scooch along until I am past the driver's door enough to open it, being careful not to hit it against the wall. Opening the door requires that I put a block that closes me off in spider territory again, so I throw my stuff into the passenger's seat and leap into the car, slamming the door as quickly as possible.
This happens every single day.
I need a Kleenex.
October 4, 2011
1) College apps
3) Physics homework
4) Econ homework
5) Math homework
7) Having a life
What I am doing:
1) Watching Dirty Dancing on ABC Family
2) Wishing I could dance without looking like Elaine
3) Wondering why life doesn't come with musical numbers
So yeah. This is my life, guys. Comment below if you can commiserate. Or you can just laugh at me. Either way is cool.
October 3, 2011
And I am excited!
I didn't think I would ever make it this far. I can honestly say that writing this blog has definitely changed my life, and I would like to think for the better. I love what I do, and I hope that over the last four months I've at least made a few people laugh or think.
SO THANK YOU FOR READING MY BLOG AND VALIDATING MY PATHETIC EXISTENCE.
I love you, followers. You make my day, commenters. And I would love to go through and thank you all individually, random people I know and love dearly who read my blog on a daily basis, but I don't want to embarass any of y'all.
I wish I could do something clever and witty to commemorate the big 100 posts, but I have college essays to write, and I need to find poor souls to read the drafts and whatnot. Applying for colleges sucks. I'm going to join the Peace Core. Or go live under the freeway. One of those. The end.
October 2, 2011
I then realize that the inhabitant of the adjacent room is playing her Glee CD.
Disappointment. Shame. Sorrow.
Like I was saying yesterday...
Brittni and I arrived at the football game and took our seats by my parents. No one was really around, but there was a good hour until kickoff. People slowly trickled in, and we amused ourselves with taking pictures and commenting on the hilarity that was the visiting team section.
People continued to fill in around us as the clock ticked down to zero. We assessed the people around us, scoping to see if anyone we knew was sitting in the vicinity and such. Finally, it was time for kickoff. And we met our dear friends.
1.) Angry Guy: Angry Guy was angry. Really angry. And by Jove, everyone was going to know he was angry. He was angry at the coaches for calling bad plays. He was angry at the quarterback for having sticky fingers. He was angry at the opposing team for doing well. He was angry at the referees for just about everything. He was angry at his boss and his therapist. (I'm just speculating about this. I don't doubt it, though.) Angry guy had perfected the skill "leaping up onto your feet the second an unacceptable call is made and pointing angrily at the field while yelling expletives so loudly that the players down on the field can probably hear you from your nosebleed seats." He made it an art form, truly.
2.) Ditzy 1 and Ditzy 2: Ditzy 1 and Ditzy 2 sat behind us with their friends Vapid and Clueless. These four said such gems as, "People are cheering, does that mean we scored?" and "If he ran to the far end, do we get a point?" Although each of the women was between fifty-four and sixty-three (just a guess), they spent the majority of the game attempting fruitlessly to take pictures of themselves with one of their iPhone 4's. It was...yeah.
3.) Male Stripper: Male Stripper was a big fan of the home team, and he wanted everyone to know of his deep-seeded love for the team. So, of course, the logical choice was to paint his entire chestular region red, front and back, and spend the whole game shirtless. And, logically, he wore Mardi Gras beads. 'Twould be silly not to. I'm thinking his mental train of thought went something like this: "Dude, I love this team. Like so much. I need to rep mah dogs. But this body paint and completely inappropriate necklaces don't speak loudly enough of my love for this team. You know what would make it better? A pound of silver body glitter. That's it. Done."
Needless to say, it was an interesting game. Watching the parade of drunkards wearing hooker heels attempt to navigate the hills in the stadium was entertaining (and disconcerting) beyond belief, I can assure you.
Today was a good day.
October 1, 2011
Tonight, Brittni and I went to a college football game. More on that in the morning. I have a BIG DAY tomorrow, so I need some sleep, guys.