I suck at this whole "domesticity" thing.
This is where I politely ask any of my readers with sexist tendencies to please navigate away from this page. You're more than welcome to stay if you like, but no sexist commentary is necessary in the next few minutes. Please, and thank you.
As I was saying.
Today, I decided that I would embark on an adventure, the artsy kind involving a needle and thread. This adventure involved making a bag/purse out of a t-shirt. Now, I'm not the most creative/artsy person. I like straight lines. And rulers. And using rulers to make straight lines. (My AP Econ teacher is currently attempting to murder my OCD by refusing me a ruler during tests when we have to draw graphs. *shudders*) So making this bag was going to be, at the very least, a therapeutic exercise on the road to OCD recovery. I had high hopes that I could at least accomplish that, even if it meant sacrificing some poor t-shirt in my quest to achieve sanity. The first part of the bag was no-sew, which I liked. And it actually turned out really cool! The bag has hard-core fringe, and I'm loving the indie vibe I get off it.
But you know what every good thing under the sun needs?
My friends from the cruise can attest to how legitimately excited I got when I realized my romper had pockets. To the point of frolicking. (Noun form: frolickation? Frolickment? Frolickitude? Now that last one just looks dirty.) I love pockets. I love clothing with pockets. POCKETS ARE MAGICAL CLOTH PLACES FOR HOLDING STUFFS. Do not question their power. Embrace it.
So, like every normal person, I set about sewing a pocket (that I cleverly made out of a piece of the shirt sleeve from the remnants of the t-shirt) onto the front of my bag.
Now, a few years ago I went to a Bible camp where I was taught how to embroider. Don't question this - it is a significant bone of contention with me and was pretty much where I decided once and for all that feminism is pretty rad. But, as much as I resented it, I wasn't half bad at embroidery. I actually have a pretty nice sunflower pillowcase somewhere in the bowels of my room, pics if you're interested. So when I went to sew on the Magical Pocket of Awesome, I decided to use a basic embroidery stitch since a) it's what I'm best at and b) it would look nice even if I managed to screw it up.
I was very, very wrong on both counts.
Apparently one's embroidery skills can wane after, err, six years. Suffice it to say, I am very glad that the thread I used blends in with the t-shirt fabric. Otherwise this would be just embarassing. Yes, the pocket is there, attached to the bag. Yes, the pocket has three sides that close and a button at the top. Does the button attach to anything? Absolutely not. Does the pocket fabric lie flat? Your'e funny. Is the pocket straight? You have to be kidding.
Domesticiy is really not my strong suit. Yeah, I can cook (somewhat) and clean (though my mother would beg to differ) and basically manage to not fail at life. But hand me a needle and thread and you had best hope that the fabric I'm sewing is red because there is going to be quite a fair amount of blood spilled. Mostly mine.
OkayI'mreallynotthatbadatsewingbutwhateverthisistheinternetandIamgoingtocomplaingoshdangit. If anyone has any ideas of where I can get cool, vintage-y t-shirts to make a new bag, that would be awesome. Comments go below. You know the drill.
(Author's Note: In the middle of typing this, my cursor (which displays everything beneath it in negative) rolled over some text, and from the corner of my eye the resulting visual looked somewhat like a spider. I may have screamed. Does anyone know a good therapist?)