July 30, 2011

The Dinosaur: Part IV

This thing officially hates me beyond all recognition.

It was fixed, it really was. It still boots up crazy fast and has over twice as much space on the hard disk and has twice as much ram and stopped crying whenever I tried to do anything and really was just happy. It was a beautiful couple of days, truly, and my blood pressure went down a lot.

Then I tried to play music on iTunes.

The Dinosaur is convinced it no longer has the built-in speakers it was born (err, manufactured) with. I can see the speakers. I can touch the speakers. I can fiddle with the speakers. They are sitting right underneath my wrists as I type. I promise you, they are there. But the Dinosaur doesn't believe me. I press the buttons and nothing happens. I try to play music and nothing happens. I open a youtube video and, while there is video, nothing happens (audio-wise). I don't know what to do anymore. I've exhausted my tech support (I'm sorry, but I can only download and re-download so many drivers before I start to lose hope) and my patience.

Maybe it's time to throw in the towel.

Of course, throwing in the towel would mean surrendering my laptop indefinitely. These things are crazy expensive. And I do still need a computer for, like, school and such and whatnot and things.

While we're on the subject of crazy expensive technology. Today I went to Best Buy to buy a webcam so I could communicate with my friends across the country/in college/etc. I've been meaning to buy one of these for a while, and I'm pretty happy with my purchase thus far (though the fact that I still lack the appropriate drivers to have any audio makes video chatting kind of, well, pointless). I was thoroughly amused at the fact that the salespeople were completely willing to discuss pirating and illegal downloads with customers. They're realists there. Mad respect.

But while we were in the store, I experienced a strange emotion, something that can only be described as Apple rage. My younger sister is insistent that the only way in the world that she will ever be happy again is if she replaces her (admittedly craptastic) Stinkpad with a Macbook. The salesperson loved this, and was doing his darndest to make a sale on a $2000 piece of plastic given that it's the end of the month and the store really needed to move some merchandise. The salesperson was less thrilled at my less-than-positive remarks on why NO 13-YEAR-OLD ACTUALLY NEEDS A MACBOOK. Apparently, I was a bit more educated (and far more influential on my mother's purchasing) than he was expecting.

I have a feeling this Dinosaur series is going to go on for quite some time. I'm already on Part IV, and it doesn't seem like this piece o' plastic is going to start behaving anytime soon. Chances are, a few months from now (okay, graduation) I'll have "The Dinosaur: Part XXIX" which will include the words "The Dinosaur is no more - say hello to the [name of my next computer]." I'm currently taking suggestions on choice of evolution after Dinosaur to then dub it's successor.

If I don't get a new laptop, this will be the Dinosaur's future.
It might be it's future even if I do.

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