I'm the Normal One

Somehow the topic of  the ubercool game “Settlers of Cataan” came up at a party. The conversation that ensued went something like this.

Me: I want to play Settlers. Who has a board?

Friend: I don’t want to play Settlers with you. You cheat.

Me: But we could have an alliance! We could dominate Cataan!

Friend: Why would I ally with you?

Me: Well I would have a 1:3 Mystery Port. That could come in handy.

Friend: So? I have a ton of sheep and a 2:1 Sheep Port. That’s way better.

Me: You misheard me. I have a 1:3 Mystery Port. 1 of whatever you have for 3 of whatever you want.

Friend: What kind of Settlers board are you playing with? I don’t think that exists.

Me: I also have longest road. And largest army. And an extra mystery port.

Friend: I don’t want to play anymore.

Me: Only because you’re losing.

Friend: No, because your imaginary board is rigged.

Me: *sticks tongue out*

I have cool friends.