June 9, 2011

A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar. Bars serve people of all religions.

My friends don’t believe that I’m funny.

If one of you makes a crack about me not having any friends I will unleash a horde of ravenous raptors (Alliteration! Woo!) on you and your firstborn. I have friends. Goodness.

My friends don’t think I’m funny.

I’m frigging hilarious.

Today while lounging in the choir room office (in a totally educational manner, mind you) I decided to grace my audience with a bit of my completely normal and gut-busting humour in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Me: What is green and has wheels?
Random Soprano: I don’t know, what?
Me: Grass. I lied about the wheels.
[laughs uncontrollably]
Random Soprano: I don’t get it…..
Me: You don’t get it?? But it is so funny! Here’s another one: What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer?
Random Alto: I don’t know, what?
Me: “We are both lawyers.”
            [laughs again at the unbelievable hilarity currently being exuded from my mouth]
Student Teacher: Oh dear God, I should not have given you sugar-laced hot chocolate this morning.
Me: [still laughing]

The sad thing is, this kind of thing happens a lot. I don’t know why. I’m funny, I promise.

Why don’t you believe me?
This is my yearbook picture.

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