Adventures in Retail

Today was completely and utterly hilarious.

First, it was a slow day. I became the Organization Fairy and put all of the games and movies in the crates, lining them up perfectly and facing the customer and all the same game in the same row and such. It was an OCD dream.

Then, about a half hour before close, this woman came up to the front with two 42" plasma screen TVs to load into her car. She pulled up in an Eclipse. The result:

Boom: winning.

Then, my manager showed me this video

and this one

All the awards. ALL the awards.

Not Bad

One full scholarship application in less than two hours. I'd say that was actually pretty darn good. Doubt I'll get the scholarship, but whatevz. You can't win them all. Or any of them, in my case.

I'm not going to college. I'm going to live under the freeway and befriend the homeless people. I will have picnics and be a street artist and get into all sorts of adventures. Who wants to join in?

Today was a quote-worthy day

Mother: "I hate that book! It pretends to be a perfect society, but it's not!"
Me: "Yeah, it's a dystopian novel, that's kind of the point."
Mother: "I know, but it pretends to be utopian, but it's really wrong and horrible!"
Me: "...That's like the definition of the word 'dystopian.'"


Choir Freshman: "You can be dead AND engaged."
Um, dear, I think that's illegal.... #necrophilia


Student Teacher: "Sing with good tone and quality - you're not Justin Bieber, thank God."
Yes, thank God indeed.



In other news, my new desktop background and phone background beats yours.

No need to comment on how many bloody icons I have on my desktop. College apps. #seniorgirlproblems

Reading Macbeth

1. I always want to capitalize the B in MacBeth...like MacDougal or McChicken or McGangbang.

2. The scene with the three murderers (Act III: Scene III) reminds me a lot of Fezzik, Vizzini, and Inigo...unfortunately, this isn't a tale of true love and high adventure, and it's completely lacking in fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, and miracles...

3. Lady Macbeth be crazy.

4. Act IV: Scene I was probably the easiest thing ever. Literally six pages of cauldron ingredients. I was like "Dude, I've read Harry Potter. I've got this."

5. I love when MacDuff's son cries out (after being stabbed) "Mother, he has killed me!" Um...you might have made that assessment a mite early, dear.

6. Reading this whole thing while listening to "Pilgrim's Hands" and "Queen Mab" from Bare! is confusing as anything. But totally fabulous. But really confusing. Ah well.

7. Sorry, Macbeth - I got 99 problems BUT A WITCH AIN'T ONE.

I've done a lot of writing in the past two days

I have written an essay. I have written for scholarships. I have written admissions essays. I have written out homework assignments. I have written a beginning. I have written an ending.

You know what I want to do now?

Sleep.

#BlackFriday

Oh my goodness. I am beyond tired. But today was great. It was basically a nine-hour blur of receipt tape, mental math, register shenanigans, turning good customer service into a contest with the guys at the other registers, and Panda Express every three hours. This is why I love my job.

Happy Turkey Day!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! If you happen to not be in the US...Happy Thursday!

So, I've been growing my bangs out. Because they are annoying as anything. Finally, though, they are long enough to put in a ponytail.

In other news, I am now a dinosaur. I didn't do anything to make the hair stick up like that, promise.

Also, now you all have met my trusty TI-84, Attila the Killa. He is awesome. Who needs an 89 when you have Attila? He has never let me down. What a pro.

Tonight, I went to the store for my shift, and there were about thirty people camped out at the door. I was half concerned that a homeless village had set up shop in front of the store, until I ran into one of my co-workers in the parking lot. They were in line for the midnight opening on Black Friday. I said they were crazy.

Then, I was talking to another one of my co-workers while we were on register. She told me that they had been in line since last night.

Today is Wednesday.

Yesterday was Tuesday.

Friday is two days away.

Whaddacrap.

I think I'm making progress

So, I've always been the girl who wasn't allowed near the toolbox.

It started in the eighth grade. I was on the Science Olympiad team (if you have no idea what scioly is click here), and due to an...interesting schedule arrangement a large part of our work was done in class. We were thirteen and had absolutely no idea what we were doing, so assignment of events was pretty much a mixture of voluntelling and eenie-meenie-minie-moe. I ended up working on the Scrambler (a small car powered by a falling weight that had to travel a specific distance - really easy stuff compared to what we're doing now), and let's just say it was less than stellar. But they still let me cut PVC and everything. Little did I know how lucky I was.

A few weeks before competition, I was really tired. Like really tired. I don't know why. And when I get tired, I get hyper. Like really hyper. I don't know why. Point is, I was playing with a yardstick. And it was really entertaining. So as I waltzed around the classroom, I was spinning this yardstick around and rapping people on the head with it and poking them in the side and getting into all sorts of yardstick-related mischief. (This is the point at which I realize how many times I have said 'yardstick' and how much I wish I could say meterstick. But I know it's not true. Sigh. Frigging inches.)

I broke our helicopter.

Yeah. I hit it with the yardstick. The helicopter two of my teammates had painstakingly constructed from balsa wood and plastic bags. I broke it in half. I am not proud.

And thus began five years of ridicule.

Ever since that fateful day, the unwritten rule was that Kaitlyn was not to be permitted to touch any building events or the robot. At all. To the extent that I would have to put my hands in my pockets if I wanted to go within seven feet of any build project while wearing safety glasses at all times and having a chaperone. Part of me knows that this was for my own protection ("coordinated" has never been a word used to describe me), but I know it was mostly for the sake of whatever had been built and the sanity of our build team. I really couldn't blame them.

But this year, somehow, I have broken down the safety barriers.

I got to drive the robot. Like multiple times. The arm AND the base. And I DIDN'T BREAK IT, GUYS. I got to unscrew something on the robot. I got to stand in the pit. I got to touch the code and do all kinds of cool stuff.

And today, I learned how to solder.

I'm obscenely proud of this

That's right. My teammates let me wield a 900 degree iron and solder. CONSENSUALLY. And I didn't break anything, burn myself, or set the building on fire.

MAYBE I CAN BE A NORMAL HUMAN TOO, GUYS.

I've nested

Over the past three days, I've nested in the couch. This has included several blankets, Raptor, pillows, my iPod, tea, my cat, and pretty much everything I could possibly need within arms reach.

And I am STILL cold.

Sometimes I ask myself, "What the crap, Self?"

MERG

HOW DO I ALWAYS MISS SIGNIFICANT POST COUNTS?

YEAH, 150 WAS LIKE TWO DAYS AGO.

I GIVE UP ON LIFE.

Misadventures in Studying

So, y'all know that I'm a total party animal, right?

Shut up. Your laughter is unappreciated here. Go away.

Tonight, I had nothing to do after Mock Trial practice ended. I really had no desire to go home because I know that, invariably, if I did I would just end up sitting on the couch, scrolling through tumblr. until midnight or so. Seeing as I actually DID (and do) have an obscene amount of homework to do, outside of the applications and directs and crosses and pretrial arguments and sponsor calls and research and everything else, I decided to grab some sushi before hitting Starbucks for a few hours to see about knocking out a few math assignments.

When I got to the big Starbucks on my side of town, I realized that there were about forty bajillion people in the store and zero open tables. I ended up chilling on one of the soft, big chairs without even a coffee table, trying to solve for absolute extrema while being absolutely uncomfortable. After a half hour or so (during which time I think I finished a whopping two problems), a table opened up, and I jumped on it.

Two minutes later, the drunk crew showed up. And took the table right next to mine. And because there were more of them than space available, they moved their table a grand four inches away from mine.

And there went my productivity.

Drunk people are funny. Drunk people are easily impressed. Drunk people have difficulty saying "three-dimensional calculus."

#my life is pathetic

All right guys

Raptor is officially ready for Christmas. Bring it, Santa.

The only downside to these otherwise completely fantastic twinkle lights is that they cover up a lot of my tabs, so I'm blindly clicking around until I happen upon the tab I wanted originally and I'm like HUZZAH FACEBOOK, I'VE MISSED YOU.

Holy crap, those lights drain my battery. Night guys, have a good weekend.

The Joys of Marketing

Yes. This is how you do.

It's Official

I actually am as pale as a sheet of paper.

#things we do in AP Physics

Breaking News

In approximately four hours, two fourteen year-old girls and a "29" year-old "adult" will (most likely) barge loudly into my house where I will (hopefully) be sleeping. I have absolutely no desire to listen to their incessant, Stephenie Meyer-fed insanity and squealing when I should be unconscious.

My excitement is palpable.

At least I can console myself knowing that, as much as I hate Twilight, no one hates Twilight more than Robert Pattinson.

Wooooo Advertisements

Yet another example of why people scare me.

I had just gotten off work and gone to my bedroom to go on tumblr and facebook and be generally unproductive do my AP Physics take home test, when my father summoned me to the downstairs TV to "see something appalling." (For the record, he TEXTED me from downstairs telling me this. And people say my generation is technology-dependent. Whipperschnappers.) Begrudgingly, I rose from my (fantastically comfortable) seated position and descended the stairs. Little did I know, this would be totally worth it.

The following advertisement was subsequently played:

My teachers learned me how to use words good.

In case you can't read that, the ad is imploring you to not receive "anther" call or use "yor" cell phone. Um, yeah. This is national television, guys....Spell-check is kind of a big deal. But hey, this looks important, right? Maybe it's a PSA about the brain virus you get from the tiny cell-phone aliens that nest in your ears when you spend too much time on the phone. Hey, I  would want to know about that.

Do I really have to be here?

Then, this frame showed up. Ignoring the horrible syntax on the caption, I...what? What does that even mean? What is this an advertisement for?

Oh look, porn.

Yeah....I don't even know.

If I blink long enough, maybe the people with cameraphones
and Microsoft Powerpoint will go away.

Wait, that question actually does apply to me... I am hungry. Maybe this is important! Let's wait and see what else is on this list of questions that may or may not apply to my mundane life.

I'm vintage. It's ironic.
Ugh, never mind. You wouldn't understand.

Oh wait, what? That was numbered - why is there no list coming up? Why are we just looking at pictures of cell phones that I'm pretty sure are old enough to have Snake as the default game?



And that, ladies and gentlemen, concluded the ad.

You get a secret prize if you can tell me what that was an advertisement for, because I sure as heck don't know. The comment bar is below. Y'all know what to do.

Reality Check

Dude, I love my job. 



I love both of my jobs.

I love all three of my jobs.

When did I stop being a normal teenage?

Just Another Manic Museday

Tumblr. makes me forget that I have a real blog. With like words and stuff. And I have to think of the words myself, because I can't just click "reblog" here and do a little happy dance for being productive and contributing to the interwebs. Which is honestly why I love blogspot...except when I'm tired.

I found out today that I am working the entire afternoon of Black Friday. Some people would be disappointed or intimidated at the thought of how obscene things will be. I am excited to be in the middle of the crazies for a few hours. I'm sure I shall emerge from my shift with a dozen or so fantasmagical stories. It shall be interesting!

I made a graph for you guys.

Isn't it pretty? I worked really hard on it. Just because I love you guys.

All I did today was write essays and submit scholarship forms. Money-grubbing: complete.


All this and I still have a smile on my face :)

A Rather Swell Day

The Robotics competition was fantastic. It was easily the best day I have had in a few weeks. I had loads of fun and got into obscene amounts of mischief. I also spent a crapton of energy and am now going to pass out. Good night, lovelies.

#thingsyouseeinSanFrancisco

Last high school football game ever. Not sure what to think of this. I feel like I should be depressed or content or something, but lately all I've been able to muster is apathy.

Not tonight guys. I'm sorry. Maybe tomorrow.

I'm having a bad day.

No, I don't want to talk about it. If you thought to ask, I appreciate your concern. I'm just going to sleep now.

The reason I'm still watching Terra Nova

Happy merg :D

The Internet is a scary place

Today, my father experienced the world of forums for the first time, in all of it's disgusting, awful, horrid, racist glory.

It started like this:

    Me: [eating oreos because I totally didn't need to be doing homework or anything] Did Oreos get smaller       all of the sudden?
    Paternal Unit: What are you talking about?
    Me: Look at the diameter! I swear, the cookie got smaller!
    Paternal Unit: assorted mockery Well....yeah, the diameter does look a little bit smaller....
    Me: TO THE FORUMS!

So we each began to scour the internet for confirmation that Nabisco, the dastardly villains, shrunk the size of Oreo cookies. He relied on Wikipedia (UGH), and I ended up on this runner's forum where the original post was: "I was eating Oreos for the first time in a while yesterday and it seemed like the diameter of the cookie was significantly smaller than what I remembered it being. Have they gotten smaller in the last few years?"

Little did this user know, he had unleashed a hellstorm of epic proportions.

You diabolical little monsters.

The commentary was awful. Seriously.

The first nasty one: "Hate to tell you brother, but you're just fatter so they look smaller. Just keeping it real brother."

Yes, because asking a question about cookie dimensions is cause for commentary about a person's weight.

Next we had: "They are raising prices AND cutting size. Then the government lies about the inflation rate in the CPI and Flagpole believes them."

Awesome, paranoid conspiracy theory, right on schedule...

Then simply: "grocery shrink ray"

Ooo, that was science-y, good for you!

A bit later: "Yeah. And they're still murdering millions of Palestinians...or Arabs...or was it goats? Can't remember. Doesn't matter, it's all a conspiracy. You don't see it? That's because your mind is OWNED by Big Media which is OWNED by the You Know Whos. Wake Up!"

I'm sorry, what? How did the Palestinian Question even come up? Does anyone remember that this started out as a conversation about OREO COOKIES?

My personal favorite (referring to another commentator's statement that the packages were just getting smaller): "Ooh, package shrinkage. I hate when that happens."

HEY LOOK, SOMEONE REMEMBERED WHY WE WERE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE: "Just wanted to show that the original point here was questioning the diameter of the cookie, and no one seems to have evidence to the contrary. They have had packages of different sizes through time so changing the standard packaging isn't the same as changing the product."


For each of the comments I put here, there were at least four containing disgusting levels of racism, anti-semitism, and abhorrent spelling that I couldn't bear to defile my blog with. If you're really curious enough, go here. Don't say I didn't warn you.

And while I was being horrified by the Internet, my dad was discovering that for a limited time Nabisco produced triple-decker Oreos. Yes, you heard me correctly.

So much want. So, so much want.

I luff ABC Family

Can't blog. Watching Aladdin. Good day. Completely content. Want more ice cream and hot chocolate. Enjoy your weekend, guys.

I am trapped

I can't step off of my bed.

A spider just crawled from underneath my dresser (the very dresser, mind you, that I had to all-but crawl under this morning to retrieve an earring - meaning that my arms unknowingly crossed into spider-territory and I could easily have died), crossing my carpet in a determined attempt to kill me. Fortunately, my fight-or-flight response kicked in, choosing the heroic option, and I beat the tiny monstrosity into the carpet with the back of my remote before flinging said remote across the room and leaping back to safety.

I am now trapped on top of my bed because touching carpet means sure death by arachnid. It's like that game we used to play when we were little at the gymnastics academy where the blue carpet was "lava" and we had to climb around. Only way less fun because this time instead of having to walk back to the beginning and start over if you stepped on the "lava", the punishment for stepping on the carpet is instant destruction by way of spiders.

Yeah, no way I'm getting any sleep tonight.

This is my idea

I watched Black Swan for the first time today. I was really disturbed for about 99.9999999% of the movie - as someone with mild tendencies to OCD, the entire premise is scary as anything - and had to straight up leave the room multiple times because I couldn't handle it. I honestly wanted to vomit for a good two or three hours after the credits began to roll. I can't even tell you whether or not the film was good - give me a few days and I might be able to give you a more coherent review.

As a way of negating the horribly cringe-worthy pain that Black Swan caused me, I'm now watching The Swan Princess. (This is my idea of fun!) SUCH A GOOD MOVIE.



So, with the end of this last school week, a few announcements:

1) For whoever asked, my tumblr. url is http://afragmentofproof.tumblr.com (<--- clickable link, in case you couldn't figure that out on your own). Tumblr. is fun. Don't judge.



2) It's officially winter. My curls have gone haywire. At this point, my flat iron is pretty much going to be shoved under my mattress since it won't be of any use until at least April.



3) I am highly ashamed of my parents. My father asked me to youtube something, and being the loving and devoted daughter I am...I rickrolled them.

And my father said, "Oh, I love this song."

Worst. Response. To. A. Rickroll. Ever.

I am ashamed to share their genes right now.

These kids

They are so weird. But so am I.

I miss my friends.

TENGO MUCHO EXCITEMENT

I HAVE "PEOPLE AND THINGS" BY JACK'S MANNEQUIN. WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW EXCITED I AM.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA :D

Oh, I got "Ceremonials" from Florence + the Machine too.

BUT ANDREW MCMAHON IS SO MUCH BETTER.

CZECH IT OUT

This post's caption was entirely misleading and the content of the post is thoroughly anticlimactic. I had a long day at work. Deal with it, yo.