Tonight I youtubed a song that I heard on the radio. While there, I decided to read the comments at the bottom. What was I thinking? I don't know. It must have been some fit of poorly thought out masochism or something. As many of you know, I am grammatically aware, to say the least, meaning that reading youtube commentary is often about on the same level as rubbing a cheese grater across my central lobe while cranking Miley Cyrus in the background. In other words, not pretty. But while I was scrolling through the trolling (haha, rhyme), I came upon this.

As Googling "Kaittrain" did not yield any positive results, I'm just going to have to assume that random youtubers knew that I liked this song before I had even looked it up. And they also gave me a new nickname. Therefore, my life just became approximately 6.53 times more epic.

Doing a bit of good

The more you know.

http://preemptivelove.org/

"The Force is strong with this one"

I apologize for not writing an actual post tonight. I was too busy Skyping with the ever-so-lovely Bree Lutjens and becoming a Jedi.

I see you like Jedi. I'm pretty Jedi myself.

Yeah. I had to redo my Jedi braid tonight. Thanks to Syd, I finally had some new embroidery floss to allow me to replace the craptastic job I did last time. Plus, these colours are purtier.

I'll try to write something legitimate for tomorrow. Until then, I'll be off procrastinating on homework and practicing my light sabre skills.

You wish you were me.




No sad.

Letter #6

Dear Yoplait,

Where do you get off? I don't care what you say in your commercials. Your yogurt will never taste as good as black forest cake, key lime pie, red velvet cake, or boston cream pie. It's flipping yogurt. Don't lie to me.

Not cake.

Love always,
Kait.

Google is a scary place

Today I wanted to Google "Do Mormon cats eat catnip?" It's a legitimate question, shut up. If any of my readers happen to have an answer, there is a magic button a few inches lower on your screen that, after it has been pressed, will allow you to post a message (or comment, if you will) at the bottom of this post. I would love to hear your answer, because I really want to know.

But in the middle of entering the search query, I came upon this.

I don't care that this picture is a little bit too big for the blog window.
It really bothers me to no end, but I can't figure out how to fix it.
Oh, what a life.

The interwebs are a scary place indeed.

In which Kaitlyn watches Lord of the Rings

For years I have been told that I need to watch Lord of the Rings, and although I made an attempt many, many years ago, I never got around to it. SO tonight I am watching The Fellowship of the Ring for the first time. As I watch it, I am keeping a realtime blog window open on my phone so as to allow me to accurately document what I'm thinking as I watch this movie for the first time. I hope you enjoy, and wish me luck.

Lets start with the film's rating tile: "epic battle scenes?"
Okay, LotR, I'm sold already.

Four minutes in and my mother has already lectured me for getting hung up on how epic Sauron's (sp) helmet is.

Oh my gracious, Andy Serkis!!!!

Ew, hobbit feet, that's right. But look, Dumbledore finally showed!!! (Okay, I know his name is Gandalf [the Grey], but whatevz.) I just thought to myself, "Wow, Frodo is really short." Then I remembered he is a hobbit and Gandalf is about Mr. Lake's size.

Seeing all of this food on Bilbo's table is making me hungrier than I already was. I'm going to get yelled at if I ask for a food break after just 15 minutes.

Oh. Bilbo has swag. Way to make an exit, I see what you did there.

Um, quick question, can I have an epic circle door in my dorm?

That library Gandalf does all of that research in reminds me of Aydindril. 1734 points if you got that reference sans Google.

So Gandalf just told Frodo, a small British kid with dark hair, to keep the ring out of the hands of the "dark lord," whose spirit (which is magically tied to this ring) has returned from death. Ummm, how is this not Harry Potter?

[Dinner break]

Oh look, another Dumbledore-wannabe. My kitty is trying to distract me with her cuteness.

Wait, I missed something, now Dumbledore 2 is beating the crap out of Magneto. Two old guys using their Magical Walking Sticks to make each other slip and fall backwards. Is this their idea of "epic battle scenes"? If so, I am incredibly disappointed.

Okay, these two clowns again? I thought Frodo and Sam traveled crazy far by this point - how are Pippin and Merry conveniently there already?

Oh dear God, a frigging spider. I can't watch this. My mother is now narrating what is going on in the scene with the ring wraith while I cower behind a pillow. Yes, this is my life.

Okay, give me a second. Are they actually heading to a place called the "Prancing Pony"? Like really now?
Um, where is Orlando Bloom? Really now. I need me some Legolas.

I approve of hobbit eating schedules. Do you think we could get school to implement elevensies as a regular
part of class scheduling?

They are killing the trees??? What the frak, man?!

Okay, really now Pippin??? Can you do nothing right??? You are ruled by your stomach worse than a
starving teenage boy. Why Frodo doesn't just get some sense and ditch the two clowns, I'll never know.

What was that disgusting thing just born in Mordor? I just lost my lunch, kay thanks.

I just spent seven minutes not watching the movie because my father insisted that "Dune" was in the literary canon. I won the argument, but now I'm horribly lost and suddenly Liv Tyler is here. What?

Elron is a frigging creeper. King of the Elves? Awk. Also, isn't Rivendale where Nancy Drew lived?
Something like that.

YES ORLANDO BLOOM FINALLY SHOWED UP. My attention has returned to the film. Oh look, he brought Hagrid with him.

Okay, I have another question. Why hasn't Middle Earth advanced AT ALL in the 3,000 years since the ring was lost? Do they not have any scientists developing anything? The fashion and social stratas haven't even changed, for goodness sake. No wonder things there are all screwed up.

Every time I try to open my mouth, my mom yells at me that this is an "important part." I don't need to see Liv Tyler make out with the Ranger guy (whose name is escaping me, so I guess I will just call him Low Standards Guy). That is not "important."

Oh my lanta. Orlando Bloom is fiiiine.

Wow. Way to aptly name them the Fellowship of the Ring. I see what you did there. Very clever.

OOOOH. Hagrid is the guy who did the voices for the Indianna Jones ride!!! Got it.

Um, so does Gandalf not have any magic? Because it seems like Dumbledore 2 is kind of kicking his arse, and I think all parties would appreciate it if Magneto got his act together and started earning his keep.
Since Gandalf is basically Dumbledore, why can't they just apparate to the mountain? A portkey would also work just as well. ("Professor, can a person be a portkey?" "Noooo, don't be ridiculous....because then if a person were to...touch themself, they would be instantly transported to a different location.")

So the gang just got trapped in the mine. When it got dark, I said "lumos" as a joke. Then Magneto hit his Magic Walking Stick on the ground and it lit up. WIN.

OH MY GOODNESS. FRIGGING PIPPIN, JUST GET OUT ALREADY. LEAVE.

Frodo is officially Daphne. Perpetual victim, much?

Please don't even get me started on the underground stairs thing. Ugh.

Um Cate Blanchett....wth just happened?

I already knew about orcs...now can someone please tell me what the crap an Uruk is?

Okay, during the orc attack, Low Standards Guy just single-handedly revoked ALL of your man-cards. Please proceed to the counter to turn them in.

I really want to give Sam a hug. He didn't leave Frodo! And although he was a bumbling buffoon the entire film, he was still lovable to no end. Poor guy has it hard.

All right, the movie ended...with a cliffhanger. Derks.

My final thoughts?
1.) I liked it, really.
2.) The soundtrack is PHENOMENAL.
3.) Orcs are bloody scary.
4.) Crap, I put off all of my Math 6 homework to watch this.
5.) Um, can I please go to New Zealand now? Kay thanks.

Today...

I interviewed an astronaut.

Oh yes.

Be jealous.

Happy Friday.

Goodbyes

"If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart, I'll always be with you." - Christopher Robin

Priorities

Day 3 of senior year has come to a close.

This year is going to go by REALLY slowly if I continue to count things down like this day by day.

I can't much focus on posting right now. Because I'm, you know, busy and suchlike with, uh, homework, and --

Shut up. Okay, I have cookie-brownies downstairs waiting for me. And milk. And I'm hungry (like always). And, like, I did HOMEWORK today. OH! Better excuse! Two hours of physical therapy. There. Done. So get off my back, jerks.

I'll see y'all tomorrow.


(Parting thought:

Wow, Skype, way to judge me.
YOU DON'T KNOW ME.

                                                                                                                     )

P.S. I love driving my family's SUV. Circumstances happened, and for today and tomorrow I get to drive our Ford Explorer to school rather than my tiny Honda Civic. Compared to my adorbs dinky car, this thing is a frigging yacht. All I do is look down at the little cars like "Get out the way, or I'm gonna mush you."

It's power.

I love it.

Kicks and giggles man, kicks and giggles.

I had to open this in Firefox because my Opera Blogger window was getting all glitchy.

I feel dirty.

Today was awesome. Would you like to know why?

Well, I don't care much if you actually do want to know. I'm going to tell you, and you're going to sit there and read it. (Or you might just navigate to another, better blog or web page. I wouldn't blame you.)

1. I got my AP Physics book today. Not awesome enough for you? My copy is NEW. Take that, everyone from my school who has ever taken AP Physics and had to suffer through those pathetically decrepit textbooks.
2. I got my AP Physics book....ON MY PHONE. Goodness gracious, I love having a smartphone. This almost made up for the fact that my Physics teacher asked me today if I was trying to do "the anime thing" with my bangs. I don't know what that even means, but it can't be anything good.
3. My community service project got approved! And I'm working on a second one through SBL. I'm crazy excited - this is the kind of thing that I find fun. I'm organize-y. Live with it.
4. I had Starbucks and lunch with Bree today on my two hour lunch. I felt truant-y and fantastic without actually being truant-y.... fantastic!
5. I didn't have physical therapy today. SUCH a boon.
6. My cardigan reminded me of crayons. <---- I am so smileful at this.

So yes, a good day. A very, very good day. After yesterday, I didn't have much faith in the coming year, but I find myself slightly more optimistic after today.

TANGENT:

I find it sort of sad that whenever I introduce myself to someone, I find the words “I do school” inescapable. The problem is, as sad as it is, it’s the defining characteristic in my life right now. I’m not “Kait, the girl who spells her name oddly” or “Kait, the girl who hates when people don’t use adverbs” or “Kait, the girl who is incredibly invested in politics” or “Kait, the girl who is obsessed with music” or “Kait, the girl who trips over air” or “Kait, the girl who wants to work in the legislature” or “Kait, the girl who is passionate about everything she loves in life” or even “Kait, the girl who really likes cardigans.” While each of those may be true in their own right, I’m “Kait, the girl who does school.”

Maybe that’s why I’m looking forward to college. It will be incredible to be able to go into a completely foreign environment with no one knowing who I am or what I’ve done or how awkward I was in elementary school. (Oh my Lord, was I ever.) I will be able to become whoever I want. Yes, I may inadvertently squander the opportunity, but that’s a risk I’ll have to take.

This is becoming kind of rant-ish. I pulled this out of a letter I wrote to my AP Lit teacher today and decided to throw it in here for kicks and giggles. I can add that to the list of characteristics, can’t I? I am Kait, the girl who blogs.

It may not be much, but it’s a start.

The only thing that has gotten me through the last week.

Seniors, yo

I don't feel much like a senior. Today felt like an extension of junior year, just in different classrooms. Though being able to go off-campus for TBell was nice. Mmm. TBell.

Easily, the highlight if my day was my AP Physics teacher's informative lesson on his bathroom policy.

The few minutes of awkward hilarity went something like this:

You know what? Never mind. I can't even begin to type out a paragraph that would convey how ridiculously funny it was to have a teacher publically lecture every male in the class to "be sure to aim" on pain of death.

Oh dear Lord. Life: made.

A few orders of business

First, I updated the Musical Stylings section. This song makes me incredibly smileful. Although the concept isn't super happy, the way Rachel Platten sings is nothing short of joyful and cheery. Her lyricism reminds me a lot of a Regina Spektor (love me some ReSpekt), while the melodic patterns and vocal quality are incredibly reminiscent of Lenka. If you don't know who either of those singers are, you're not welcome here.

Second, school starts tomorrow. This is unacceptable. Why? Because it feels like I've hardly been home all summer. Which is true, for the most part. Also, because I know girls from State who aren't starting until halfway through September. (Yeah, I'm talkin' to you, Jessicuh) Not fair.

Third, I'm obscenely excited for school. What, am I being a bit bipolar about this whole public education thing? Let me put it this way for you: I'M A SENIOR, YO. (No big deal or anything).

Fourth, my sister is leaving on Thursday for the sunny South. This is unacceptable.

I miss her already.

Fifth, it is becoming increasingly more evident how stupid it was of me to get bangs AFTER taking my senior pictures. Whatevz. This is my way of sticking it to the establishment. Effective rebellion, no?

Sixth, my brain is scrambled. I've read an obscene amount in the last three days (unless you're reading this, Mama Lutjens, in which case I totes read it all weeks ago) in addition to the mountains of calculus homework I've had to do.





Wish me luck.
Tomorrow starts my Great Adventure.

In a word

Disappointment.



















In other news, I got bangs.

Happy Saturday.

Letter #5

Dear Pottermore,

I am quickly losing my patience.

Yes, I want to be with you. Although I don't really know what you are (no one actually does), I do know that I want you. So, so very badly. I feel like this could be the start of a beautiful relationship. However, I don't know how much more I can take of you teasing me like this. It's really not fair.

That being said, you know I still love you. I want this to work, but you're going to have to put in some effort too. You know what would be a great sign? If you were to send me my Welcome email telling me I could actually log in.

Just sayin'.

Love always,
Kait.

MERLIN'S BEARD!

How could I have reached 50 posts last night and not even realized it?!

ALACK!

I was planning on celebrating this momentous achievement with some sort of jig and dance (possibly one in praise of the Blogging Gods) or maybe just a giant bowl of ice cream, but no. Like every 11:11 ever, I missed it.

Yes, I am a failure.

So I could blog about something funny (or at least I'd like to think so) that happened in my life, but I think I'd rather crawl into a corner in my room and sob about how I should just completely give up on blogging forever.

Jaykay dawg, I'm not going to do either of those.

For a minute I'm going to be serious. When I started this blog at the beginning of June (geez, has it really only been two and a half months), I didn't know how far I would get. I didn't know if I would get through a few posts and give up on the whole venture, or if it would become a pathetic and self-indulgent rant page for my teen angst and rage at the world and all of the people in it. I didn't know if anyone would read it - if my musings would fall silently on the ears of the Internet or be lost in the void that we call cyberspace - or if somehow someone would find it interesting enough to spend their time on.

To my dedicated followers, thank you. I hope I've at least managed to amuse you these last few months.

Since I did manage to forget the Happy 50 for my blog, I suppose I'm just going to have to make it to 100 to make up for that. Think I can do that by the end of the year? I think yes. It's going to be hard with school, but I CAN DO IT.

RAWR.

I think that I'm going to do a real post in about five minutes as an apology for this.

Awkward

Oh.

Hi.

I didn't see you there.

Fancy meeting you here.

Um.

Well, this is awkward.

Look, the duck was already there when I got there, it wasn't my fault.

Geez, learn to let it go.

Kay bye.

Frustration

I wanted to post tonight about a few of my favorite things. It was going to include a half dozen photos of things that are my favorites, such as strawberry shortcake ice cream bars, my cat, and so on and so forth. It was going to be stupid and self-indulgent and fabulous.

Then blogger wouldn't upload off my phone.

Then my photos wouldn't send via email from my phone to my gmail.

Then I realized I had no real motivation to post tonight, and even less patience to deal with this.




Happy Hanukkah.

Application for Employment

Name: Kaitlyn Sims                                                                                                             

Age: 17                                                                                                                               

Position Desired: Member of zombie apocalypse survival squad                                        

Salary Desired: Food, shelter, weapons, ammo. Currency has little or no value in the New World Order.    _                                                                                                                

Prior Experience: I single-handedly vanquished both the monster under my bed and the boogie man in my closet by age six.                                                                                        

Special Skills: Strategical planning, MacGyver-esque improvisation, Five Card Draw fantastic driving, awesome cooking skills, banjo.                                                              

Assets: I am an incredibly fast learner and a strong leader, but will always prioritize survival above heroism. I adapt quickly and am familiar with a variety of different locales. I am never too proud to run away from a fight or horde of the living dead. Although I may appear strong and weak, I am fast and cunning. However, I am not willing to be used as bait. (Though I am willing to use my impressive powers of coersion to trick other team members into volunteering to be our bait.)                                                                                            

Weaknesses: Severe arachnophobia, weak runner,  chocolate chip cookies.                     

Personal Statement: I would be a valuable addition to your zombie apocalypse survival squad because I am determined (to survive). I have been reading up on zombie survival techniques for years, and I am more than ready to take on the role of zombie-slayer/team jester. As I am incredibly uncoordinated, I will make excellent comedic fodder, providing our team with countless hours of entertainment in lulls between flare-ups and long car rides across barren deserts as we search for places to hole up will replenishing supplies. Although I am not familiar or comfortable with firearms, in the case of zombies I will make a noted exception. Personally, I am not a proponent of the head shot when it comes to taking down hordes of the living dead while fleeing. It leaves too much room for error. Rather, I plan to shoot zombies in the leg so as to cripple them. (While zombies may not register pain, a broken leg is, well, a broken leg, and will be unable to facilitate chasing our team) Survival is my top priority. I will do everything in my power to be a productive member of your team, and I believe I am the right woman for the job.                                                                     

References: My cat                                                                                                             

Availability for Training: 8/22/11                                                                                   

Availability for Employment: Immediately following the outbreak                                 

Who has two thumbs and is a college student?

THIS ONE.

I am officially enrolled at the local JC taking Math this semester, in addition to my regular high school schedule. However, after the second example on today's practice exercises I have reaffirmed my belief that I don't actually know calculus. At all.

Oh, this will be an adventure.

Today at freshman orientation I entertained myself by dancing like a loser every time "Super Bass" came on, raging at the mainstream music that was being played with my hipster friends, and freaking out as many freshmen is possible by engaging them in actual conversation. What audacity on my part. BUT I MADE FRIENDS :D

Oh goodness, that was officially the first emoticon I've used in my time blogging. I feel....gross. Let's never do that again. Much like High 6-ing. (Motility 5's are still acceptable.

Also, I love my mock trial team. Not only are they a smart, driven, dependable bunch, but they also laugh at my jokes.

I TOLD YOU I WAS FUNNY.

Quote of the week: "Making out with guys is way better than singing hymns or tending to gardens or whatever the heck it is that nuns do."



My back to school checklist:
[x] Backpack
[x] Binders
[x] Parking pass
[x] Filler Paper
[x] New phone
[x] Jesus sandals
[x] Excitement
[x] Pure, unadulterated fear

SO MUCH WANT.

iamfirst

I was incredibly excited to watch the iamfirst program on ABC on August 14th - it's about darn time that academic programs got this kind of recognition. Academic teams like FIRST robotics do incredible work. The students spend countless hours doing things that would shock and impress anyone, the teachers work to promote ingenuity, and the benefits are countless. I'm beyond ecstatic to be part of my school's Robotics team this year (after two years of being pestered non-stop by our teacher coach), and knowing the work that this program is doing has only made me more proud of my choice to participate (finally).

That being said, if we can get the Black Eyed Peas, Bono, Steven Tyler, Justin Bieber, and countless other celebrities to back FIRST Robotics, imagine what Hollywood could do for other academic programs out there.

This is how I see it working out:

National History Day
Science Olympiad
Science Fair
Mock Trial
Debate and Forensics
Destination Imagination
Model UN
Academic Decathalon

Each of these programs needs the same kind of promotion that FIRST got with the iamfirst campaign. The celebrities involved with the TV special kept emphasizing how incredible the work that the students were doing was, building robots and managing complex budgets. It's truly incredible what these teams do. But, for a second, just think about all of those other events. Science Fair students are finding alternative treatments for diabetes. DI students are creating and innovating new solutions to problems. History Day students do research only rivaled by graduate theses. Debate students tackle issues far beyond those most teenagers would think to ponder. AcaDec and SciOly students are learning obscene amounts of information in short amounts of time. MUN and Mock Trial students recreate some of the most complex governmental forums out there.

The point is, the benefits of all these programs are countless. They teach students things that can't be taught in the classroom - from engineering, public speaking, and herpetology to study skills, how to do intensive research, and how to treat yourself professionally. The confidence and life skills these programs offer their students and the sense of community that they can provide can't be found anywhere else.

The best part is, those aren't the only academic programs out there. Students are doing amazing things every day, but because they don't score touchdowns they aren't given the same kind of recognition. I've ranted before to anyone who will listen about how underrepresented academic programs are, but that doesn't change the fact that a high school football team that wins a weekly game can make the front page of the sports section, while an academic team that wins an international competition can be completely glossed over.

Is that fair? No. Is that reality? You know it.

What I'm saying is this: we need to promote academic programs like these. Imagine if major celebrities and bands decided to back each of these programs. Imagine if their national and international competitions had televised specials and promo videos. Imagine if there wasn't a label attached to participating in these events such that the students in the Connect a Million Minds advertisements felt compelled to describe themselves as "geeks" and "nerds."

Imagine if there was FUNDING to keep these programs going.

We need academic extra-curriculars in our schools. It's a simple fact. They teach our students, and our students are our future.

So come on, Justin Timberlake, Taylor Swift, and Sara Bareilles. Come on, the Fray, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Relient K. Come on, Nicki Minaj,  Katy Perry, and Maroon 5. Share the love, and keep these programs in our schools.

I'm sorry.

I should not be allowed to use any sort of texting or messaging device after midnight-  my judgement isn't the best, to say the least. I've done a royal job mucking this all up.

And I'm sorry.

Epic in its highest form

Best license plate ever.

More Musings - How Apt

A few of my random thoughts from the past two days. Yes, I could write a legitimate post with a real topic and coherent line of humour, but I'll pass. It's almost eleven, and I'm tired. Get off.

My garage is ridiculous. We have a three-car garage, and this means that one of our cars must be sacrificed to the tiny spot that really doesn't even count for anything. As the driver of the smallest car, I'm the victim in this case. I swear, it feels like I'm exiting a birthing canal every time I pull out of my garage.

Pandora knows me too well. Although I haven't logged in in a few months, I spent a few hours listening to it while working on the Common App (cry, sob, sniffle, more sob). After I got bored of my old standby - the Jack's Mannequin channel I made and perfected last summer - I started a We are Scientists channel, just for kicks and giggles. I wasn't really paying attention to the music - it quickly turned into background noise as I fumbled through all of the paperless paperwork - though on occasion I would go through to click "thumbs up" or skip a song. However, when my work ethic started to wane, I began looking at the tab that explained the logic behind why that track was picked. I was a bit skeptical about the Music Genome Project's methods, but all of my hesitation was eliminated when I read this:

"Why this track? Based on what you've told us so far, we're playing this track because it features rock influences, use of vocal harmony, rhythmic syncopation, a mix of electric and acoustic instrumentation, and a dynamic male vocalist."
 
Yes, it legitimately said "dynamic male vocalist." Pandora knows me too well.

That is all.

The Most Depressing Thing Ever

.... Flipping onto "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" five seconds AFTER the "not to mention the pincers" line.

I almost cried. That is my favorite line ever.

Am I the only one who thinks that, as much of a tool as he is, Cormac is incredibly fine? (If you want you some Cormac McLaggen, go here. Sigh.)



Also, a lot (okay, two) of you complained that you couldn't see the picture on Hipster Heaven. I re-uploaded the image, in all of it's ironic glory, so we can hope that it will work for you.

I just want you gone.

I feel censored. All of the time.

I'm having one of those teen-angst-no-one-understands-me-my-life-is-so-hard days. They're fun, no?

And today, my biggest complaint is that I feel censored in everything I do.

I want to post a like on Facebook. Oh, wait, my pastor and parents and family are my Facebook friends, never mind.
I want to blog about drama in my life. Oh, wait, some of my friends read this and would know what I'm talking about, never mind.
I want to tell a new friend about something that's upsetting me. Oh, wait, she goes to school with someone who is involved, never mind.
I want to get opinions on my writing and poetry. Oh, wait, I'll look like a desperate compliment-grubber who just wants attention, never mind.
I want to be frank about something with someone new in my life. Oh, wait, that person will see me for the freak I am, never mind.
I want to ask for help with something. Oh, wait, certain people will patronize me for not knowing everything, never mind.
I want to express a political opinion. Oh, wait, most of the people in my life don't share the same views as me, never mind.
I want to be an author for a certain web site. Oh, wait, colleges and potential employers will be able to see that, never mind.
I want to speak my mind. Oh, wait, you'll read what I post, never mind.


I used to love the fact that I wasn't afraid to tell people what I thought - it was one of my proudest traits - but more and more it feels like I have to hold my tongue to keep it in check. Sometimes it's just easier to smile and pretend everything is just dandy rather than confront. And I really am no good at it.

Today was Monday, right?

I'm really not sure is why. The days all kind of blur together. Welcome to summer.

Although summer really is almost over. I have class starting next week, and senior year begins two weeks from today. Oh my gracious. The most depressing part of the day was when my four AP lit books finally showed up in the mail. I really do need to get on those - I've only managed to procrastinate for the last eight weeks.

Weirdest part of today? Senior pictures. I was totally kosher with the idea of taking my senior yearbook photo (my last ever, as crazy as that feels - almost as fantastically crazy as the idea of never having to ever do state testing, oh happy day), but when I put on the cap and gown and looked myself in the mirror I almost passed out.

It was sooooooo bloody weird.

Words can't even describe. At this point, I'm just going to not think about it. When the pictures come in, I'll probably go through the same shock all over again, but I'll blow up that bridge when I come to it.

Also, my best friend has pink eye. She is under quarantine for a while, and although She is getting better quickly, I'm kind of concerned about her mental health, given what she told me on Skype today. "To be honest, you're the only person who has told me I should be on quarantine, but you're like a doctor so that's good enough for me."

"The second star to the right, then straight on til morning"

Productivity.


I don't like that word very much. Usually because it is only used to describe things I should be doing, as opposed to whatever I am doing at the time, which is most often assigned to the category of "pointless time-wasters that seem really fun in the moment but actually are causing me to neglect and/or put off real responsibilities and will only lead to further stress and anguish and hair loss, something that a 17 year old girl should not have to deal with and okay I really don't have to deal with that but if I did it would be a real concern and a visible manifestation of my high stress levels which are not being helped by these pointless, procrastinatory activities."

Or something to that effect.

Problem is, these procrastinatory (a word that both Opera and Microsoft Word seem to feel, well, isn't - I'm just a trendsetter like that) activities make it hard to actually get anything done. Like my HS enrichment application for the JC. Or college applications. Or cleaning my room (which many of you know I have already done, contrary to my mother's beliefs). Or summer reading. 

I'm not ready to grow up just yet. It doesn't seem to be much fun. But more and more it's feeling like I'm being pushed into adulthood faster than I'd like. Responsibility has its drawbacks, and procrastinating is not helping matters at all. 

But I'm getting REALLY good at Fruit Slice.

(If you bothered to actually read this self-indulgent excuse for a post, I have a small parting gift as a thank-you for making me feel slightly less pathetic about myself. I hope you enjoy.) 

You Can't Just GO to Pigfarts!

Some of my friends may have noticed that every once in a while I would whip out my phone and start typing a text in the middle of our conversation. No, I wasn't texting. Chances are, I was copying down whatever you had just said. If your name is Sydney, that is almost a certainty. (I can get away with saying this now because she is lost in the forest without her iPad - hehe) This is a collection of the crazy, inane, or ridiculous things my friends, family, and acquaintances say without thinking. This post contains just a small fraction of the list I have gathered over the last few months. I'm going to leave it anonymous in case people start to hate me. Or, you could just own up to it.

“There’s no wifi in the forest.”

“Cool story bro! You smell like weed.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t text you. I fell asleep, and I haven’t mastered texting while asleep yet.”

“Oh, I have a question for you because I was too embarrassed to ask my doctor.”

“In the middle of the workday, it’s better than sex!”

“He knows what kind of footie pajamas I have. Okay, that sounds weird, but let me explain.”

“Someone smelled like play-dough.”

(Most awkward observation of all time)

“OMD!”

“Authors shouldn’t write books – they should write movies.”

“Her eyes are like mermaid-oceans-storm-breezes-of-sexiness.”

“If I know classic girl therapy, you just have to go home and sit down with the crappiest soap operas and loads of ice cream.”

“Here’s what you gotta do: go home, open up a six-pack of Tiger Blood, chug-a-lug-lug, and start bi-winning.”

Reality

My life.

The reason I will never again be productive. Ever.

The bane of my existence.



Victory

I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore
I got into Pottermore



On day 5. I told you it was my lucky number.

Crutches

Many of you know that I'm getting a new phone. It should arrive in the mail tomorrow, and I am insanely excited. This is mostly because the Motorola Atrix pretty much wins at life and destroys the Samsung Flight I have been using for the last year and a half.

But in the midst of all of this excitement, there is one thing that I am slowly realizing will be the greatest con of this whole experience.

I did not have a good time in elementary school, and to be honest middle school was plain awful. I didn't fit in, I was even more awkward than I am now (hard to believe, I know), and I didn't relate well to my peer group, which often led to a lot of rumours and strife. My parents often said that I was eight going on thirty, and it was obvious to the rest of the school that I didn't belong. I knew this, and yet it still came as a surprise recently when someone I had gone to elementary school with confessed to "knowing of [me]" instead of actually getting to know me. Apparently my reputation preceded me. Kids can be cruel, and to put it plainly it was not a good time for me.

But high school has been fantastic for me. I have loved it and blossomed into a very different person from the girl I was three years ago. I have met the most incredible people, and I have learned a lot about myself. The opportunities I have been given are ones I would never trade for the world. This goes especially for my week at Girls State. I have openly told many people that it was probably the best week of my life, and I have tried to make sure that I don't forget a single moment of it. I took close to four hundred pictures while I was there, and yet it still doesn't feel like enough. I felt like I belonged and was understood, which is a feeling I haven't experienced often.

As I start my final year of high school, I know that this adventure will be one I will want to remember.

But there is something holding me back. My current phone. As stupid as I feel for admitting it, technology is an integral part of our lives, and cell phones are a key part of the way my generation communicates. So while I hate myeslf for saying that my phone is an extension of my relationships with others, it's true.

I like to hoard text messages, the ones that mean something to me. Until now, I have been limited in this - I only learned how to lock text messages on my phone in April. Up to that point I had to uncheck each individual text that I wanted to save by hand each time I had to clear my inbox, which took some time given that I had to delete my inbox every two days (three on a slow run). Once I learned how to lock messages, life became quite a bit easier, but my hoarding got worse.

Some of the texts that I've saved are little words of comfort or votes of confidence. Some are reassurances of the sender's support. Some are hilarious comments (highlighters CAN ejaculate, I promise you) or rousing pep talks. Some are kind words. Some are little things like ":) smiley to brighten your day :)" or "you rock, you know that?" Some are birthday wishes or congratulations. Some are reminders of the ways I've been hurt. Some are reminders of the ways I've hurt others. Some are reminders of the times I've been strong. Some are affirmations that no one will be disappointed with my performance in school. Some are just the simple "I miss you" or "I'll be here" or "I love you."

The point is, these texts are what have gotten me through a lot of the tough times I've had in the last few months. I've reread them each a hundred times over, at least, and they have given me confidence. I don't want to lose them, but this new phone will take that choice away from me.

Yet, at the same time, I wonder if it is for the best. I wonder if emptying my inbox will be cathartic and relieving. My phone physically only weighs a few ounces, but the emotional baggage I've carried around with it has weighed me down like crazy. I can only hope that clearing it out will be a step towards making my brain a safe place to inhabit. And I know that not being afraid of coming across saved texts from a time when things were different is a step towards healing. Out of my inbox, out of my head, out of my life. It's a crutch, but like with actual crutches, at some point I need to learn how to walk on my own. I need to learn how to find my own confidence and my own inner strength, rather than relying on the words of others. Before I can start to heal and grow, I need a fresh start. I need a clean slate with myself.




Exhibit A of why I shouldn't be allowed to start writing posts after midnight. Goodness, I brood late at night. Also, my syntax, transitions, and grammar fail when I'm that tired. Thank goodness I didn't post this when I originally wrote it. Hoorah for editing!

An American Tail

I like to watch a lot of cartoons. Why? Because they're awesome. I spend a good chunk of the summer catching up on old reruns of "Fairly Oddparents" and "Avatar: the Last Airbender." The nostalgia is fantastic, and it reminds me that the comedy is timeless.

So when I got home from Robotics today and there was nothing else on TV, I decided I was game for jumping into the middle of the 1986 Steven Spielberg classic, "An American Tail." Lucky me, I turned it on right as "Never Say Never" was about to start. Though I was heartbroken to have missed "There are No Cats in America," the movie is just so gosh darn adorable that I couldn't resist.

Here are my thoughts on the movie:

1. It is a prime example of the worst parenting since "Home Alone." The plot of the movie is what happens to a young mouse immigrating to America when he loses his family. The parents LOSE THEIR KID. ON A BOAT. Yeah, it's frustrating. Yet I can cut them some slack for what could be considered an accident or a trick of fate (or a really adorable plot twist). The problem is HOW MANY TIMES FIEVEL IS WITHIN TEN PACES OF HIS PARENTS AND THEY DON'T NOTICE. I'm not exaggerating when I say Fievel almost finds his family a dozen times during the eighty minute film. Not to mention the fact thqt Fievel's parents gave up on him after like five minutes of screen time. And as if it weren't bad enough, the sequels, including "An American Tail: Fievel Goes West," all revolve around the plot of the Mouskewitz family losing another kid. AGAIN.

2. I can't help but feel guilty singing "for there are no cats in America/and the streets are paved with cheese" while my cat is sitting on my lap. I feel guilty for siding with the mice but.... Fievel is so darn adorable.

3. No pigeon is that well-dressed, ESPECIALLY in New York.

4. It's fantastic when just playing "Somewhere Out There" is enough to make my mother cry.

5. It's even more fantastic when I can rickroll her with that song.

A Few Things

The more you know.

Something I do like: chocolate chip cookies.
Something I don't like: internet cookies.
Something I do like: Android.
Something I don't like: iOS.
Something I do like: AT&T employees that will do anything to convince you NOT to buy an iPhone.
Something I don't like: celery.
Something I do like: the Soup Nazi.
Something I don't like: the puffy shirt.
Something I do like: getting a new phone.
Something I don't like: paying for a new phone.
Something I do like: getting a deal.
Something I don't like: sales tax.
Something I do like: school.
Something I don't like: having to attend school.
Something I do like: spoons.
Something I don't like: harpoons.
Something I do like: "Bill Nye - the Science Guy."
Something I don't like: "The Eye of Nye."
Something I do like: Shark Week
Something I don't like: sharks.
Something I do like: candy.
Something I don't like: exotic dancers named Candy.
Something I do like: Craig Horner.
Something I don't like: Craig Ferguson.
Something I do like: the Dinosaur.
Something I don't like: the Dinosaur.
Something I do like: you.
Something I don't like: when you type "u" instead of "you."
Something I do like: couplets.
Something I don't like: triplets.