August 6, 2011

You Can't Just GO to Pigfarts!

Some of my friends may have noticed that every once in a while I would whip out my phone and start typing a text in the middle of our conversation. No, I wasn't texting. Chances are, I was copying down whatever you had just said. If your name is Sydney, that is almost a certainty. (I can get away with saying this now because she is lost in the forest without her iPad - hehe) This is a collection of the crazy, inane, or ridiculous things my friends, family, and acquaintances say without thinking. This post contains just a small fraction of the list I have gathered over the last few months. I'm going to leave it anonymous in case people start to hate me. Or, you could just own up to it.

“There’s no wifi in the forest.”

“Cool story bro! You smell like weed.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t text you. I fell asleep, and I haven’t mastered texting while asleep yet.”

“Oh, I have a question for you because I was too embarrassed to ask my doctor.”

“In the middle of the workday, it’s better than sex!”

“He knows what kind of footie pajamas I have. Okay, that sounds weird, but let me explain.”

“Someone smelled like play-dough.”
(Most awkward observation of all time)


“Authors shouldn’t write books – they should write movies.”

“Her eyes are like mermaid-oceans-storm-breezes-of-sexiness.”

“If I know classic girl therapy, you just have to go home and sit down with the crappiest soap operas and loads of ice cream.”

“Here’s what you gotta do: go home, open up a six-pack of Tiger Blood, chug-a-lug-lug, and start bi-winning.”

1 comment:

  1. Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark!