September 28, 2011

Terra Nova: a Review

Thanks to the magical powers of DVR, I have finally watched the pilot of the new FOX series Terra Nova. This review may be two days too late, but I can hope that, for those of you who haven't yet pulled the episode from the bowels of your DVR or who are considering picking up the series, this might come in handy. Everyone else...uh...yeah.

So, my opinion of the series:


NEEDS MOAR VELOCIRAPTORS.

Raptor felt thoroughly underrepresented. When I realized that there were going to be CGI dinosaurs in the show, I immediately became excited for the inevitable reality of seeing velociraptors eat annoying wannabe actors. BUT NO. Instead, we saw a few Brachiosaurs (because every five year-old should have a pet Brachiosaur) and a T-Rex (called a "carny," as if that doesn't belittle the T-Rex's epic). I might add that the CGI used to create the dinosaurs was about as skilled as a drawing done in crayon on torn paper during a car ride off-road in an earthquake. By the time the first hour of the episode was through (not accounting for the fact that commercials composed about 40% of the show's allotted two hour time slot), I was becoming thoroughly irate.

Finally, when a few of the younger characters got into a sticky situation (caused by teenage drinking - THAT wasn't a political statement at all), they all invariably wet themselves as a giant, fast, smallerish dinosaur hunted them.

I CAN HAS VELOCIRAPTOR???


NO. Teases. "Slashers" are cool and all, but if I don't see me a velociraptor soon, this series just isn't going to fly.


So that's my two cents on the pilot of Terra Nova. Oh, and the premise and actors were cool and stuff....

Night!

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